"The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living" by Russ Harris

"The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living” by Russ Harris is marketed as a guide for anyone seeking mental and emotional well-being. The book introduces the principles of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), a psychological approach that claims to help readers break free from the cycle of chasing happiness. Instead, it teaches them how to live a more meaningful and fulfilling life. The book also offers 8-week online courses and in-person seminars.

I decided to read this book because I was curious if it indeed offered a unique approach that could increase people’s feelings of fulfillment. After reading it, my opinion is that it’s a bit of a mixed bag. While it has some strengths that make it worth the read, it doesn’t necessarily unlock a completely new approach to life. In fact, it dismisses what are considered best practice approaches.

Harris attempts to dismantle the myth that happiness is a constant state we should all strive to achieve. He argues that this belief often traps people into unnecessary suffering because life is inevitably full of challenges and discomfort. The book presents an alternative perspective: rather than trying to avoid pain, we should accept it, make space for it, and commit to living according to our values.

I disagree with what may be one of the central premises of the book—that people spend all their time seeking happiness. In counseling, I frequently find that people are seeking peace, connection, clarity, or stability in their lives, and rarely do they mention the word “happiness.” Of course, people would choose happiness if given the option, but it is rarely the actual goal of counseling. Additionally, I disagree with the notion that people do not expect challenges and discomfort. Most people understand this reality and actively work to avoid being consumed by these challenges in their lives. Personally, I would likely not sign up for an 8-week course based solely on this book because of these reason.

Despite not agreeing with the premise of the book that we make ourselves unhappy by seeking or expecting happiness all the time, I think other parts of the book offer practical exercises that people may find very helpful. “The Happiness Trap” provides simple exercises, metaphors, and real-life examples that make the concepts of ACT easy to grasp and apply. Techniques like diffusion, mindfulness, and values-based living are broken down into steps that feel approachable for readers at any level of familiarity with self-help or therapy.

Harris’ conversational tone makes the material accessible without sacrificing depth. He helps readers navigate through anxiety, depression, stress, and other common struggles by encouraging them to develop psychological flexibility—the ability to adapt and act effectively regardless of what emotions or thoughts they are experiencing. I believe these are valuable skills. The only qualifier I would add for a reader is that the author dismisses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) as ineffective. However, these concepts fit perfectly into the CBT model, as CBT emphasizes the importance of mindfulness, increased distress tolerance, and understanding/being aware of one’s thoughts. It’s important to note that if you have used CBT and found it helpful, these skills may actually complement other skills you have learned or utilized.

One of the book’s strongest points—and the reason I think it is worth reading—is the section on clarifying your values. By aligning your actions with your values, you can ask yourself when you have a thought, “Is this thought helpful?” If not, acknowledge it and move on. While these concepts are not unique to ACT, they remain valuable skills that can be helpful. ACT emphasizes accepting emotions rather than battling them, which represents a slight shift in perspective from other popular therapies. Many people will find value in this approach.

In summary, “The Happiness Trap” does offer practical skills that may be helpful in improving psychological resilience. However, I would not recommend it for people looking for the key to happiness, as I do not believe it actually provides that despite the title. Nevertheless, the book offers a different perspective, and the chapters that encourage increased awareness of one’s thoughts and how to manage those thoughts/choices, along with the exercise on clarifying your values, are very helpful. Whether you’re dealing with stress, anxiety, or simply seeking ways to enhance your overall well-being, this book provides recommendations that readers may find lead to a more authentic way of living.